Feds on the Hunt for Radioactive Bunnies in Eastern Washington

Science is happening as these government employees feed radioactive waste to sheep at Hanford!

For people of a certain age, each new ecological horror story that emerges from the Hanford clean-up project holds a special fascination. It reminds us of the glorious, prelapsarian days of the late Cold War, when we didn’t have to worry about global warming or Islamic terrorists because we all knew we were going to die in a nuclear apocalypse. Ah, childhood!

So it was with sweet memories of grade school and my dad forcing me to watch Red Dawn (because “this is going to be you some day”) rolling through my head, that I read this morning’s New York Times story on how the feds are searching out radioactive rabbit droppings by helicopter.


Anything that hops, burrows, buzzes, crawls or grazes near a nuclear weapons plant may be capable of setting off a Geiger counter. And at the Hanford nuclear reservation, one of the dirtiest of them all, its droppings alone might be enough to trigger alarms.

A government contractor at Hanford, in south-central Washington State, just spent a week mapping radioactive rabbit feces with detectors mounted on a helicopter flying 50 feet over the desert scrub. An onboard computer used GPS technology to record each location so workers could return later to scoop up the droppings for disposal as low-level radioactive waste.

Frankly, I’m just impressed anything can live there at all. Mother Nature is truly impressive. Oh, and do I need to point out this was paid for with $300,000 in stimulus money? Apparently locating radioactive critters wasn’t important enough to include in the main operating budget.

If you share my fascination with this disgusting hell-on-Earth that science has created for us, don’t forget that Hanford is now the most sought-after tourist destination east of the Cascades! Last year, the Department of Energy opened a limited number of public tours that booked within hours. There’s no set date yet for when registration for 2010 tours opens, but you can check at this link. It’s Super Fund for the whole family!

And one final note: Why the hell are they remaking Red Dawn?

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