The World Cup in My Tummy: Losing European Teams

David Swidler is eating, drinking, and cooking his way through all 32 World Cup countries, much like he does at his site cookingvssports.com.

Three international powers: England, France, and Italy, played well bellow expectations, with Les Bleus and Azzurri being sent home after group play. However, the French team caused their countrymen to beam with pride by going on strike.

So if these three countries weren't going to give it their all, I wasn't about to return the favor. For a simple French breakfast, I went to Le Pichet and ordered a baguette et beurre. Then in honor of Italy, I went to Pasta and Co. and picked up ravioli and fettuccini for dinner. Wow, even their half-assed food is really tasty.

Seriously, if I ever win the lottery, I am going to get a house in Southern France or Northern Italy, and just eat and eat and eat and eat and eat, and then dress cats up like Charles Dickens characters.

For beloved England I made a cuppa. Truth be told, I love bangers and mash, however, after the "national disgrace" that was this year's team, it was Typhoo tea purchased at Tesco. Now, here it is, the correct way to make tea: Tea bag into the cup, add hot water, let seep for five minutes, add milk and sugar as desired. There is black tea, there is Earl Gray, and that's all you need.

Even though Greece and Switzerland aren't soccer powers, they didn't help their continent's reputation. Also, by the next World Cup, Greece will probably be placed in some sort of trust that Switzerland will have look after. I got a lamb gyro at Niko's in Magnolia, and for dessert Swiss chocolate. Very simple, but again, very delicious.

Western Europe, I wanted to do more! I got excited about the prospects of ordering spaghetti alla puttanesca, or making confit de canard avec moules-frites dans entrecôte from scratch. However, watching some of your teams has given mep heartburn as it is. You have four years to get younger and faster, not exactly your continent's specialty. That would be dinner, and institutional racism.