Coach Steve Sarkisian's Manhood Admired by Husky Fans

A Husky fan demonstrates size of Sark's balls (via Facebook)

Your season's on the line. Two seconds left. Down by three points. Six inches from the goal line. You need a win to make the postseason. Do you kick a field goal and try to win in overtime? Or risk the whole #$!$@% thing on one play?

Husky football coach Steve Sarkisian chose the latter, the Huskies won, and now Sark's testicles--specifically, their size and constitution--are a matter for public comment.

"Retracting (happily) my previous comments re: Sark. Giant big massive balls." -- TBTL's Luke Burbank (@lukeburbank)

"Boulders on Sark right there. Wow." -- @warrencb11

"Sark will need wheelbarrel to carry his cajones after this week." -- @kingwabbit

"Sark tiene grande cajones." -- @_bmc123_

"HOLY FUCK!!! YESSSSSSS!!!!! #HUSKIES!!! ! Sark has HUGE stones" -- @Ryan_C_M

So, Sark, how much time did you take to decide whether to go for it? "None, really," he told reporters after the game. "We've been aggressive since day one since I got here, and we're not going to change."

After deciding to go for the win, Sark had two tasks. First, to decide what play to run. Second, to rally his troops.

He'd run a quarterback sneak to the left on the previous play, and saw that Cal would be looking for it again. "They were really piled in the A-gaps and the four-point stances," he said. So he threw the Bears a change up: a dive to running back Chris Polk to the right.

Then to fire up his team. Sark gathered the Dawgs' offense on the field, and delivered a quick motivational speech. "I told them, 'We've been preaching now for three weeks about you got to finish. There's no better way to finish than on the last play of the game. Here we go. This is what we do.'"

The Huskies did finish, with Polk plowing into the end zone fairly easily behind fullback Austin Sylvester.

Given that the Dawgs had been stuffed on the previous play, Coach Sarkisian would've faced major criticism had the play not worked. Consensus among the Dawg fans I watched with was that they should kick the field goal and go into overtime. But he went for it, and now the Huskies are just one win away from their first bowl appearance since 2002. And we look forward to future manifestations of Sarkisian's monstrous jewels.