Best Place to Raise Kids in Washington? Hint: Not Seattle.

Bloomberg Businessweek has assembled one of those link-bait "Best Blank to Blank in the U.S." lists ("America's Best, Affordable Places to Raise Kids"), which are like...not crack, what's something more credible...um...like bacon cheeseburgers to us, so here you are. As it turns out, the kid-friendliest di tutti citta in the state may be, for our local readers, a shocker. 

The Best Place to Raise Your Kids in Washington state is...Pullman. Ready for the next jab? The runner-up is West Richland. Now, this may not be as remarkable a west-side shut-out as it appears, as to judge from the blurb, the key criteria were "bordering Idaho," "wheat fields," "geographic marvels," and "high WASL scores." Also, "Pullman is a seat of learning and home to Washington State University." 

Obviously not every city can be home to WSU, and there's no arguing the wheat field gap with our eastern neighbors. Bloomberg didn't even mention the Giant Palouse earthworm, which we have absolutely no answer to, and which you have to know is like...oh god, not crack again...uh...well, it's like any giant weird creature to kids. 

In all seriousness, Bloomberg says they wanted to focus on smaller towns and cities, and not large, urban areas. I suppose that's nice and Norman Rockwell, but really? It seems a substantial assumption that kids are better off getting run over by a wheat combine than the express bus to downtown. Have you ever looked at the kinds of accidents farm kids are prone to? It's gruesome, and nearly always involves losing an arm to a machine. Still, it's a gut-check to realize that Eastern Washington still came out in front on the following:

The rankings put the most weight on school performance and the number of schools, crime statistics, and cost of living. Other factors included job growth, air quality, ethnic diversity, and access to recreational amenities (within the county), such as parks, zoos, theaters, and museums.