The World Cup in My Tummy: Ghana, Ivory Coast, Nigeria

David Swidler is eating, drinking, and cooking his way through all 32 World Cup countries, much like he does at his site cookingvssports.com.

Ghana has knocked Team USA out of two straight World Cups. So instead of taking Friday off for a long weekend of 'Merica lovin' that would have kicked off with drunken giddiness at some crowded bar, I'll now have to go to work trying like to hell to hide my drunkenness at some morning meeting.

Ghana, you are on my list! Why can't you be more like the Ivory Coast and their amazing Didier Drogba?

Unlike his influential peer Lady Gaga, Drogba is so revered that when he pleaded for an end to his country's civil war, both sides listened, and a ceasefire was brokered. Unfortunately, he broke his arm right before the World Cup started. Seriously, if you believe in karma, you are a dumb person.

So Ghana is a World Cup bully, and the Ivory Coast is home to amazing Drogba. However, both countries enjoy cooking fruits from musa genus. In the Ivory Coast they deep fry chili pepper-covered bananas and call it aloko. In Ghana they mix plantains with ginger, cayenne pepper, and hot oil and call it kelewele.

I made both and enjoyed the aloko much more. The kelewele was pretty bland, and it wasn't just my defective tastebuds--my wife agreed. Of course, I'm assuming that the plantains we get in the Northwest are a little less flavorful than those available in West Africa.

My Nigerian co-worker is pretty savvy--she was the first person to see though the claim that for medical reasons I can't wear a shirt on Wednesdays--so when she called foul over my jollof recipe, I knew her concerns were the real deal. She pointed out that it called for black eyed peas, which, like jollof, are a staple of Nigerian cooking. "That would be like an American adding hot dogs to hamburgers."  (Burger King, are you writing this down?!?!)

Unlike the soon-to-be-unveiled King Wienerburger, jollof is a spicy rice-based dish with tomatoes, onion, meats, and green beans--it's a lot like jambalaya. France, you got your tentacles everywhere, didn't you?

My man-crush Dogba should be back in 2014, the Nigerians, well, who knows, and Ghana, just leave us alone.