First Things First, Seahawks! Fix the Music

Special to The SunBreak by John Hieger, sports music correspondent.

Our Flickr pool's Slightlynorth provides this Diana Mini shot of Qwest.

Defensive coordinator Gus Bradley isn't the only failed holdover from the Seahawks' past seasons of doom. During last Sunday's embarrassing loss to the Kansas City Chiefs, Qwest Field tortured fans with the tired '90s ballad "Bittersweet Symphony" no fewer than 300 times, adding a cruel soundtrack of despair to an already depressing display by the home team.

It's inexcusable for a franchise consistently plagued by insufficient toughness to leave fans hostage to an aging pop anthem more befitting a romantic comedy than a vicious pass rush.

If blitzing, sacks, and intimidating tackles are few and far between in Seattle, inspired local music is not in short supply. You would think the guy who built the Battlestar Hendrix Museum might have an appreciation for pairing a tune with the appropriate vibe and venue--but in this case Allen or his tone-deaf Vulcan minions have left the tiresome "Bittersweet Symphony" on the stadium loop too long and the on-field consequences of repetitious, existential pop crap are obvious; Lofa Tatupu can no longer tackle. Marcus Trufant looks depressed.

"You’ re a slaaaave to money then you diiiiie."

Would you want to make a brain-injuring tackle after hearing that lyric for the third time in four plays? Me neither. I recommend Paul Allen unloan Jimi Hendrix's Woodstock guitar to prevent further Jimmy Kimmel Fallon blasphemy and familiarize himself with some of the local artists in his museum that could actually rock the anemic Seahawks back into crunching Northwest form.

You hate America if you're not roused by "Man in the Box." Perhaps Jerry Cantrell's heavy riffs might finally produce something from Aarron Curry other than high-priced confusion on bootlegs--we can only speculate until the change is made.

"Rusty Cage," "Territorial Pissings"--anything by the Melvins: all are locally connected and bona fide winners at high volumes in loud stadiums. The new Seahawks regime needs fresh blood and an appropriately inspired soundtrack. Play aggressive tunes at Qwest Field and leave the weepy elevator music on 103.7 The Mountain where it belongs.