[WARNING: Spoilers aplenty, including the above recap video.]

Last night was the third episode from this season of Top Chef, featuring local cheftestants Ashley Merriman (of Branzino) and Robin Leventhal (chef-owner of Crave). Last night the show turned down the over-the-top Vegas quotient so that the chefs could cook for the Air Force. IT’S FOR THE AIRMEN!

But first they had to do a quickfire challenge with every possible type of potato on the planet. Preeti mistakenly blanched her broccoli in Ashley’s pot of boiling water, and Ashley wuz pissed. Because there are two things in this world that Ashley cannot stand: institutionalized discrimination against gays and somebody using her hot water. Despite having to make an entirely new pot of water (and not being able to get married), Ashley did well in the challenge, with guest judge Mark Peel naming her dish (potato gnocchi with homemade ricotta, second photo here) in the top three. However, Jennifer wins again, because she already looks to be one of the strongest contenders this season (she works with Eric Ripert, fer fuckssake). Her mussels (seventh photo) looked good. Douchebag Mike is mad, because he thinks the person with the best dish winning a challenge is “favoritism.” It should be mentioned that Douchebag Mike is a douchebag, and also that he does not own a dictionary (not until Ed Hardy makes one, that is).

Now the chefs find out about the elimination challenge, which is cooking for three hundred airmen and their families at Nellis Air Force Base. One catch: they won’t get to know what food or supplies will be available to them until they get to the kitchen and start cooking. The chefs decide to partner up to better facilitate the meal, and they put Jennifer in charge since she’s already got immunity. When they show up to the kitchen, everybody’s whiny, because the majority of the food is canned and they mostly have to cook in huge woks. This is why it’s a challenge on a cooking show, folks. Once she’s in charge, Jennifer turns out to be tough but fair, and a very effective leader. Like, the Air Force might want to send her overseas to help them out in theater.

The troops are adequately supported by the big gourmet meal, and most of the food turns out pretty good. The brother who didn’t win last week treats bacon like pork belly and of course everybody loves that, so he wins the challenge. YAY FOR BROTHERS. Douchebag Mike is first brought in with the top 4, but when the judges find out he was responsible for a garbage shrimp Greek salad, they bring him back with the bottom 4. Douchebag angry; douchebag smash! But he doesn’t get kicked off. Instead, it’s Preeti, primarily because she was inspired to cook by 9/11, and because she made a half-assed pasta salad. Never forget.