So We Think We Can Cook Masters

Coming off of an aggro episode of six male Top Chef Masters veterans (including one whiny Frenchie--Ludo, you are the anti-Thierry Rautureau), it was nice to have Episode 4, with five Masters newbies and some estrogen in the kitchen. Of course, this was also the episode with Maria Hines (see her tour of Tilth above), as well as the four other contestants: Jody Adams, Debbie Gold, Susur Lee, and Rick Tramonto.  In her intro, Maria describes herself (in a sing-song voice) as "the organic Girl Scout," but she says she's "definitely competitive."

Let's get ready to Quickfire! It's the fruit plate challenge, as seen in Season 1 of Top Chef, when sommelier Stephen didn't so much create a fruit plate as a fruit tray, with a dozen little cups full of fruit.  That's the thing about this challenge: it's deceptively simple, but a great test of a chef's wit, presentation, and knife skills. Susur is confident, because he says he has the best knife skills of the whole group. And whoa--it's a high-stakes challenge, so the winner will go directly on to the Champions' Round. Do not pass go; do not collect $200.

The chefs have got forty-five minutes and twenty-five different fruits to work with. Born in Hong Kong and skilled in French technique, Susur describes himself as a "chef gypsy," so of course that leads to a blackberry ravioli with thai basil. Jody says she's not as quick of a line cook as she used to be and that her son Oliver told her to not take big risks. So she makes a fig and walnut tart, which is always risky, since pastry has sent many a chef to pack his knives. And of course something goes wrong; she tried to chill her dough, but ended up freezing it solid. Ruh roh.

Maria seems kinda nervous about competing against these big names, considering she's so much younger and less experienced than most of them, but she's keeping her cool, making an appetizer, entree, and dessert of fruit, in the forms of apple soup, grilled fig, and fresh berries with mousse. Debbie made this pecan tempuraed stuffed fig thing that looks like there's way too much going on there. Rick talks about Jesus and makes some herb and fruit shooters.

Gail and Joel  are acting as the quickfire judges (thankfully, it's not the Real Housewives again this week). They think Susur's is a mess, which it is. For some reason, they like Rick's dish, even though there's an empty paper cup and a card with an inspirational message on it. That is not playful; that is garbage.

Maria gets three stars; Debbie, three and a half; Susur, two and a half; Jody, four; Rick, three and a half. So Jody wins the Quickfire, $5,000 for her charity, and advances straight to the Champions' Round. Way to go, frozen dough!

Now for the elimination challenge: take a classic family dish and put a modern twist on it, to serve to the cast and crew of Modern Family (a la last year when the Masters made dinner for Lost). The chefs go to Whole Foods and then have an hour and a half to prep their food that day. And of course, they all talk about how their own families are so very modern. Backstories galore!

Back in the kitchen, Susur's still not over how badly he lost the Quickfire, so he called his wife to complain and she told him, "Shut the hell up! I don't want to listen to that bullshit! Go out there and fight!" Sage advice. Meanwhile, Jody has a good line of her own, saying that cooking in this way is "...like interrupted sex. We cook for an hour and a half, and then we have to stop. You know, by that time, how can you climax?"

The next day, they've got a little more time in the kitchen before heading over to serve their meals. Debbie is quickly frying some of her pork belly, because some of it didn't cook enough in the pressure cooker. Susur is running all over the place, not wearing shoes (as we later find out). The chefs pack up their food and go. They've got an hour to set up at the soundstage and get their food ready to serve to Modern Family. 

The crew show up, and the chefs are busy serving when the critics (Gail Simmons, Gael Greene, and Jay Rayner) and cast arrive. Maria is first to serve, and she's got her modern take on a trout almondine: sockeye salmon, paprika potatoes, french beans, almond slivers, sumac, and almond milk. They seem to like it. Susar made Southeast Asian comfort food: roast chicken and farce curry, polenta and grits, tomato jam, and chili mint chutney.  Everyone is moaning while eating it. Rick's next with truffled white beans with escarole and grilled sausage, and I'm not sure what classic dish that is a modern take on, but it sounds like it'd be good. Jody has braised chicken thighs with mushrooms, semolina gnocchi, and herb salad. And finally it's Debbie's dish: her take on porkchops and applesauce, a glazed pork loin with apple butter and winter squash slaw. No one seems to really like that one.

The chefs taste each other's dishes, and both Rick and Susur dis Maria's. Susur straight-out says to Maria, "Anything tastes good when you're hungry," to which she replies, "Um? Thanks?" And then we find out that Susur doesn't wear shoes in the kitchen (because he's a "ninja") and it all makes sense. He's crazy.

Okay, critics' table: Debbie's dish was too sweet and Jody's too salty. Maria's sockeye salmon was a Northwest take on comfort food. Jay loved the dish's almond milk, Gail thought it was very modern, and Gael thought it had a lot of flavor. Meanwhile, Rick's dish wasn't modern enough and Jay thought it needed more truffles. Susar's dish was risky, with so much on the plate, but it was all clear and distinct. However, it was a little spicy for family fare, though he claims he toned it down for our bland Western palates.

To the scores: Jody gets 10 stars from judges and 4 stars from diners, for a total of 14.5 stars; Debbie gets 8 stars from judges and 2.5 stars from diners, for a total of 10.5 stars; Maria gets 10 stars from judges and 3.5 from diners, for a total of 13.5 stars, so Debbie is out; Rick gets 10 stars from judges and 3 stars from diners, for a total of 13 stars, so he is out. It's down to Maria or Susar. Susar gets all 15 stars from judges and 4.5 stars from diners, for a total of 19.5 stars, the highest elimination score in Top Chef Masters history, and only half a star from a perfect score. So Susar and Jody go on, and Maria is out. Which means all three of the Seattle chefs on Top Chef Masters this season were out in first round. The Champions' Round starts tomorrow with what looks to be the blindfolded tag-team quickfire relay race and wedding wars. Fun!