Over halfway through the thirteen-hour season, and The Killing is more like The Boring. I’m not alone in this opinion. The New Yorker had a negative review of the show in last week’s issue, and TV recapper extraordinaire Alan Sepinwall could barely bring himself to write about this week’s episode (“Vengeance”).

With good reason. What happened this week? Ummm…a whole bunch of nothing. Rosie Larsen’s dad didn’t kill Bennet Ahmed. Linden and Holder visited the Green Lake Mosque, which was somehow located in Rainier Valley. Linden missed her flight to Sonoma, so now her fiance won’t take her phone calls, but on the upside she got to teach her son the finer points of paintball. And a new Adams campaign attack ad proved to be a real bonerkiller for Gwen and Darren’s office sexytime. Stay tuned next week, when the butchershop FBI raid cliffhanger is easily resolved in the first five minutes, after Linden and Holder simply show the federal agents their police badges.

In more important news, the Woodland Park Zoo has a new snake. The eight-year-old male reticulated python weighs a hundred pounds (!) and debuted in his new zoo digs earlier this week in the Day Exhibit.

But that big ol’ python still needs a name. Animal lovers (or animal-naming lovers) are encouraged to submit their ideas for snake names on the zoo’s Facebook page (of course) between now and Friday, with the zookeepers’ picks for best five names going up for public vote next week. I know the zoo always prefers ethnically/culturally/geographically appropriate names for their animals, but just like with The Killing, I implore them to not be so boring or predictable. For python names, I suggest Egyptian Cobra, Honey Badger, or Kitty. Also acceptable: Huggy or Squeezy.

And in the MOST IMPORTANT NEWS OF ALL, five Humboldt penguin chicks who hatched at the zoo three months ago made their public debut on Monday. Here they are swimming, for your daily dose of SQUEEEEEEEE.