For better or worse, The Central District is not what it used to be. Signs have been legion: Scenester hangout The Twilight Exit moving to 25th and Cherry. A family-friendly pizza shop claiming the corner of 29th and Jackson–just a block from the putative home of one of the more active street gangs left, the Deuce Eights. And, down the hill on Jackson, the bakery for dogs.

But there has been nothing like this. As I summarized to a few Seattle ex-pats now in New York, here’s the gist: A new bar is opening on 23rd and Union. It will be “a vegetarian-focused bar and grill” with a stated theme of “urban brothel, but not too westerny.”

My friends had these responses:

“I know what each of those words mean but have no idea what their description means.”

“Grab a healthy bite with your newfound riches from Collins Gold Exchange.”

“I want my mommy.” *rocks slowly back and forth*

Due to poor urban planning, the Central District does not have a notable central gathering place or business district. The intersection of 23rd and Union is as close as it gets. Most of the action is on the east side of 23rd. On the south corner, a strip mall type development holds a liquor store, a post office, and a variety of businesses. The north side has always been dedicated to food.

On the corner is a fast food spot. When I was in elementary school, it was a Church’s Fried Chicken. (Which smelled great when the school bus rolled by). Then it became a Taco Bell. When I was in high school, it was a “B’s Beefy Burgers,” perfect for the limited lunch budgets of teenagers. Then I went off to college and I’m not sure what happened, but when I moved back it was a Philadelphia Cheese Steak–until January 30, 2008, when the restaurant’s owner, an Ethiopian immigrant, was shot and killed there. The space just reopened last month as Beehive Bakery, to generally positive reviews.

Just east of the fast food spot, since 1986, has been Thompson’s Point of View, a soul/Southern food establishment. But the owner died last year, and the restaurant closed in September. Now it will become The Neighbor Lady, the aforementioned vegetarian bar, brought to you by the owner of the Twilight Exit.

So, future Seattle historians, I’m about to sum up “The Central District, 1986-2011″ in one sentence for you. The northeast corner of 23rd and Union was, in 1986, home to a fried chicken joint and a soul food restaurant. Now it hosts a kosher-certified bakery and a bar for vegetarians. Cancel the dissertation, that pretty much says it all.