Bumbershoot 2013 Day 2: Music and Comedy

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The Redwood Plan (Photo: MvB)

The Mowgli's (Photo: MvB)

View from beer garden up top of the Fisher Pavilion (Photo: MvB)

"detritus we value" artwork by Jonathan Schipper (Photo: MvB)

"detritus we value" artwork by Jonathan Schipper (Photo: MvB)

From the "Enigma Machine" installation: a web of sorts is spun. (Photo: MvB)

From the "Enigma Machine" installation: colors generated by heat and electricity (Photo: MvB)

David Bazan (Photo: MvB)

Katie Kate (Photo: MvB)

The Comettes (Photo: MvB)

The Breeders (Photo: MvB)

The Zombies (Photo: MvB)

Creepy visuals overlooking the Crystal Castles crowd (Photo: Audrey)

The rules for media are a little different this year around. (Photo: Audrey)

Be prepared! (Photo: Audrey)

Washed Out warming up, Seattle Center fountain cooling down (Photo: Audrey)

Clouds hover above Crystal Castles. (Photo: Audrey)

Crystal Castles from afar, hula hoops from a-near (Photo: Audrey)

At Bumbershoot 2013, some wily musical vets have stolen the show. Who knew that Gary Numan had other songs and an awesome set still in him, up to and including “Cars”? Or that Eric Burdon would turn in a hoodie-clad performance with The Animals?

The ladies of The Breeders hit it as hard as ever, and thundered through Last Splash like it’s 1993. And of course The Zombies would have to play a couple of their jazzy new songs, but if you stepped away from the Starbucks stage and took a hot lap around the Seattle Center grounds, you could have been back just in time to hear them blow the non-roof off with their finale, “She’s Not There.”

Among Bumbershoot’s young turks, Kris Orlowski played a golden-hour set Saturday under the Space Needle and in the shadow of the EMP. Far too often, Kris Orlowski is lumped in with the sensitive Seattle singer-songwriter crowd, which is unfair, since a) he’s not a solo act — it’s a four-piece band that dabbles with the occasional orchestra — and b) Orlowski is not another boring, whiny nice guy. Just a handsome bastard with a great ear and a charismatic frontman to boot. #TeamDREAMBOAT

Over at the Sub Pop stage, Washed Out had to contend with technical difficulties that delayed their set by sixteen minutes, and the resulting audience of big spoiled babies just looking for an excuse to boo. Once the Bumbershoot A/V club got all the loops up and running, the mix was off for the first couple songs, but the chillwave set quickly found its groove. With new album Paracosm, Washed Out has moved into more disco and reggae territory, but don’t worry, they definitely played the Portlandia theme.

The night ended with the atmospheric sounds and sometimes hard-to-look-at visuals of Crystal Castles, while Sunday night involved going from The Zombies to fleeing from Bumbershoot-goers lurching around as zombies. Can we call it a Sunset of The Dead already?

Marc Maron had been on my Bumbershoot to-do list for Sunday, but I ended up seeing him with Patton Oswalt the day prior. I figured he would just use Sunday’s WTF session to further expound upon his anxieties about an impending third marriage and worries about the potential for becoming a father for the first time, but correct me if I’m wrong. Besides, twenty minutes of Marc Maron is pretty much the perfect amount of Maron.

So the only comedy must on the Sunday Bumbershoot schedule was the roundtable discussion with the writers of Parks and Recreation. The Stranger’s Paul Constant introduced the panel for what he calls the best-written show on television, thanks to the individual voices of all the characters, born of a strong writing staff. The team includes old-timers like Alan Yang and Aisha Muharrar, and relative newbies Joe Mande and Megan Amram (both Twitter-famous) who joined the writing team for P&R‘s fourth season.

We got a sneak peek at the fifth season of Parks and Rec: The gang goes to London (Andy thinks it’s Hogwarts), Tom Haverford and Rent-A-Swag faces some new competition, and Leslie Knope wins a women-in-leadership award (complete with Heidi Klum cameo).

Facing the prospects of having to write off Rashida Jones and Rob Lowe, the writers felt that they had crafted satisfying departures for Ann Perkins and Chris Traeger in taking the characters to the end of their arcs. With regards to pacing the comedy, Yang pointed to the importance of clarity and simplicity and the continued need to tell the emotional story. And when in doubt, cast the funniest person possible for the part.

What then followed was an occasionally cringeworthy Q&A with Paul Constant, who twice lost his place in the novella of notes in his hands, and humblebragged “I know some people who work in government.” Constant’s question about gender ratio on typical television writing staffs was a good one, but awkwardly delivered and eventually trailed off. Luckily, the P&R writers have amazing chemistry, which carried the rest of the conversation, including a shout-out to the Bechdel test, the usefulness of Jerry as a punching bag, and the fun fact that Nick Offerman smells like mahogany.

Day 1 Comedy: Bumbershoot 2013

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Waiting for Patton.

Almost had to MacGyver my press pass, but fortunately @lavid had an extra safety pin.

Big fan of platters of meat and cheese in the press room.

RIP, Fructis tent.

Can't choose between UW Huskies and Bumbershoot? Don't worry, they've got the game on.

The woman running this booth was very suspicious as to what exactly I would want to take a photo of. Told her I didn't think many people came to Bumbershoot to buy high-threadcount sheet sets.

See if you can guess which environmentally-themed suggestion is mine.

New this year: rental lockers!

Locker rates: $15/day; $10/night; $30/all 3 days.

Clean scalp just for Bumbershoot. You're welcome, Seattle Center.

Day One of Bumbershoot is always about getting your bearings. It’s sensory overload, especially this year, when clouds of marijuana smoke hang over every stage. Bumbershoot has always been a smoke-friendly environment, but now it’s at a whole new level. Attention, Seattle parents: Your children are going to Bumbershoot to WEAR the SHORT-SHORTS and SMOKE the LEGAL MARIJUANA.

(But let’s not be dicks and use anything, blatantly, right in front of police. No need to put the so-far friendly cops in a position where forced to be the bad guy.)

Let’s talk comedy. No matter where you end up in line for the Bagley Wright stage, a pro-tip for the venue: Everyone in a line plods along and takes the first entrance from the lobby. Don’t. Instead, keep walking through to the far aisle — that side of the theatre fills up last. Or if you can’t resist your cattle inclinations, walk down towards the stage and then over to the left. Whatever you do, DO NOT suddenly stop walking and hold up the entire line behind you or change seats four times. The selection of seats at Bumbershoot comedy shows is not like being gay — it doesn’t get any better. So just sit down.

(THIS is how you hack life, people: by keeping your eyes and ears open. At this point, I’m on my way outta Seattle, and I don’t mind sharing all my knowledge accrued — twelve years of pro-tips that have allowed me to beat the rest of the general public in nearly every way — with you, the hoi polloi. So START WRITING this down.)

Anyways, my main goal for Saturday was to see Patton Oswalt & Friends, so by making that the priority, and by living a life of pro-tips, I was able to secure a third-row seat, so I could see the funny man work himself up into a sweat talking about how a pessimistic customer service rep at Alaska Airlines under-promised and over-delivered on finding his daughter’s stroller, and how now he needs to protect the eyes of that four-year-old from Bumbershoot hippie dick.

To warm up the crowd was Fancypants comedienne Natasha Leggero. Her selfish princess persona briefly touched a nerve in the audience when joking about motherhood (as a concept). But Natasha won the crowd back with the cogent point that catching a boyfriend engaging in auto-erotic asphyxiation is preferable to seeing him doff a Call of Duty headset. She knew her audience, accusing the majority of having a Master’s in something they don’t do, mocking Pacific Northwest style (“JEAN SHORTS”) and white tourists going on gangland tours in L.A., and soliciting a quick headcount of those who think they’re gluten-sensitive versus those who are actually gluten-allergic (i.e., celiac). TOTALLY DIFFERENT CONDITIONS, PEOPLE.

Next up was Upright Citizens Brigade vet Brian Huskey, in the guise of Nascar poet Louis Harkin, who comes pre-loaded with a deliciously deft backstory. The former septic-cleaning business owner in Shelby, North Carolina, inspired by Def Poetry Jam, moved to San Francisco, where he now performs in Bohemian cafes, unpaid. This is a complicated, tightly drawn character, and Huskey walks all those lines well, telling poems of weedwhackers and Billy Joel and “onset diabetes,” combines the slogans “Just Do It” and “Never Forget,” all with liberal sprinkles throughout of “namaste, motherfuckers.”

Marc Maron then took the stage with a “surprise” appearance, as comedy acts are wont to mix and match at Bumbershoot. Turns out Marc has an ex-wife from Seattle, so don’t worry, he has something to complain about. His impression of our fair city has always been “Fuck Seattle.” Of course he has his typical existential crisis over traffic, but he’s also having a crisis now, at age 49, when he’s engaged again, set for what will be his third marriage, and scared that this might be the time he has a kid, and then he’ll be The Old Dad. He’s at least scared that his fiancee wants to get pregnant enough to be wary of a “fingerbaby.”

And whaddya know? Marc Maron has a couple impersonations too:

  1. a one-word Dave Attell: “What?”
  2. a one-gesture David Cross (the rocking on his heels he does when a joke hasn’t landed well) with the optional follow-up gesture to awkwardly take a drink of beer
  3. all sound (Peanuts-style) version of Eugene Mirman
  4. he has a Louis C.K. impression, but it necessarily involves ice cream

Then there was Patton. In his nearly half-hour set, he announced his fitness goals: to lose his bulletproof vest torso, to not be in a Rascal scooter at his daughter’s high school graduation, and to keep his original knees. That discussion inevitably led to the Swab My Folds porn series (“it doesn’t really get good until Swab My Folds 4“), shame-eating (“fuck you, me”), the modern fears of having a #racistbaby or being a #klandad, and being forced to deal with so many “hipster trustfund douchebags — SORRY.”

Patton Oswalt requires clothing that hides his man boobs and hips. When even going near the John Varvatos counter at Macy’s makes him feel like a hobbit, his only option is to start a fashion line with the guy from Smashmouth and name it Fireplug.

So when the comedy lineup is BY FAR the most successful and consistent programming of the festival, tell me again why Bumbershoot doesn’t sell a comedy pass? And why OneReel doesn’t turn over some of the will-call/credentials production and logistical duties to Starbucks as part of their sponsorship? Especially when a festival is run by a non-profit, it’s important to find ways to have others contribute and get work done for you. These PEARLS OF WISDOM are FREE, y’all.

Huskies Crush Boise State Broncos in Return to Montlake

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Members of the Husky stadium construction crew lined up on the field to welcome the Huskies in their run out. (Photo: MvB)

Mission accomplished (Photo: MvB)

The game in HD (Photo: MvB)

Husky QB Keith Price lofting one downfield (Photo: MvB)

New stadium, great old view (Photo: MvB)

Bishop Sankey taking some Broncos for a ride (Photo: MvB)

Husky D (Photo: MvB)

TB Bishop Sankey has places to go. (Photo: MvB)

Husky D wrapping up (Photo: MvB)

WR Kasen Williams about to break open an after-the-catch run (Photo: MvB)

Dwayne Washington tumbling into the end zone for the final Husky TD (Photo: MvB)

Final score (Photo: MvB)

Husky stadium sunset (Photo: MvB)

For about two minutes on Saturday night, the 71,963 people at a sold-out Husky stadium wondered what kind of homecoming it was going to be. Their quarterback had thrown for an interception, and the 19th-ranked Boise State Broncos were on a steady march downfield.

Flash forward to just under five minutes in the game, and the Huskies had racked up 592 yards and 38 points, to a pair of field goals from Boise State. RB Bishop Sankey rumbled for 161 of those yards, on 25 carries. QB Keith Price, 324 yards, going 23 for 31.

It was an achievement and a statement, says Art Thiel, that outshone the new $280-million stadium itself. But that said, Qwest Field has real competition in the decibel arena. Even lay people reading University of Washington seismographs will have no trouble determining when the Huskies score.

Two “smaller” HD screens at the west end are mirrored by the monster screen at the west end. (You’d like to see more stats displayed, with all this screen-power.) Food and drink concessions now come with food-and-drink areas you might well want to spend time in, with a large eastern plaza. Club Husky comes with padded seats, cupholders, and a lounge that people were stopping to take pictures of themselves in.