Restaurant | The SunBreak

An expedition to West Seattle for a Lincoln Park getaway led me, on the way back, through the hallowed burger shack doors of Zippy’s Giant Burgers. The hallowing has come early, since Zippy’s was just born in spring of 2008, but there was no question from day one that the burger shack was a winner. At the moment, they’ve won over 93 percent of Urban Spoon visitors, and they’re a solid four stars on Yelp.

The owners claim to be vegetarians, personally, which might strike you as odd. But then you probably don’t charbroil over 85 pounds of hamburger a day. I can see how that might quell your appetite.

My group ordered the Zip Burger ($4.25), Zip Royale ($6.50), and the Zip with bacon and cheese ($5.50). Zippy’s is a with-all-the-toppings kind of place: secret sauce, tomatoes, red onions, pickles, iceberg lettuce; but the burger is where they do themselves proud. They grind the chuck fresh each day–no frozen patties allowed. And as the pictures indicate, they taste deeply, smokily of the grill where they were forged.

The interior is tiny, and there’s very limited parking in front. Regulars advise ordering by phone (206-763-7347) and getting your order to go at busy times. The guy at the counter was friendly and helpful. Payment is cash-only, but there’s a small ATM that–sit down, you won’t believe it–charges $0.25 per transaction. (That’s right, a quarter. Not $2.50. A quarter! I almost want to go back just for the ATM. It also politely asks if you’d like to check your balance before you withdraw, to prevent overdraft.)

Tiny interior or no, the owners, Blaine and Rahel, have not skimped on decoration. Most walls are covered by bygone-era fast food ads and memorabilia, from the the Big Boy statuette to the photo of Colonel Sanders meeting J.P. Patches (see slideshow).

To sum up, go with the biggest appetite you like. Zippy’s Giant Burgers can handle it.

Seattle’s first Hard Rock Cafe, located at 116 Pike Street, is open for business today, as of 11 a.m. Josh and Audrey went on a tour yesterday (see full photo gallery); after the fact, they discussed the tech-heavy new digs, the tons of memorabilia, and the unironically awesome rooftop deck.

The third floor is home to a magnificent roof deck with views of the market and sound and populated with weatherized couches and firepits. This is the feature most likely to make you a Hard Rock Cafe regular.

Josh: Let me begin by saying that before I saw that this place was under construction, I was not entirely aware that the Hard Rock Cafe was still in business, let alone opening new stores. Score one for the themed casual chain dining economy; times aren’t as tough as I’d assumed.

Audrey: According to the Hard Rock’s Wikipedia page, these are the other cities getting a new Cafe this year: Costa Maya, Los Angeles (Hollywood Blvd), and Krakow. To which I say: Seattle: Slightly More Culturally Advanced Than Krakow. Even Ho Chi Minh City got their Hard Rock last year!

Josh: We had no idea what we were missing! But I wonder if the EMP was strong-arming them out of the city for all of these years?

Audrey: A knife fight between the two awaits for sure. How did the EMP not get custody of Jimi Hendrix’s green hat? Which brings us to a very important topic: memorabilia, though everyone at the Hard Rock likes to refer to it as “memo.”

Josh: That’s what it’s all about: the stories. It is also the part of the HRC experience that is kind of baffling. It’s as if someone realized one day that the biggest flaw in most museum experiences is the absence of a Hickory BBQ Bacon Cheeseburger on hand. Or, that what most restaurants were lacking were sufficient distractions from the usual dining experience. This is where the revamped HRC really shines. They know that obsessive music fans can be a little introverted.

Audrey : The Hard Rock Cafe seems to be the best place to go if you don’t wish to interact with your dining companions (in other words, families on vacation).

Josh: TRUE. So they answer this by setting up those booths with the family/friends/social contact avoidance devices.

Audrey: Why talk as a family if Bobby can be voting on which video should be shown throughout the restaurant, while Mom takes a handheld survey on her dining experience thus far, and Dad is on his phone having a voicemail tour of the objects around him?

Josh: The family that avoids together stays together. Those screens are perfect for the surly teen who doesn’t yet have an iPhone/iPad/iPod but still wants to see pictures of “memo” on display in Fiji, where he would have preferred the family take its annual vacay.

Audrey: I found the Rock Wall Solo [one of the many devices by which you can ascertain what items are housed at which HRC] surprisingly difficult to use. The guy who demoed it had no problem, so maybe it’s just me.

Josh: I assume that he had a lot more practice. Training for whenever a vacancy opens in the Situation Room. I am curious about when people are going to use the Solo. While waiting for a table?

Audrey: I would guess so. Yes, it was a lot like CNN. No holograms, though. Did you play with the Microsoft Surface table?

Josh: No, though that definitely seemed more tempting. I guess that it’s nice for Microsoft that someone finally wanted to use their incredibly flashy technology. But it’s unfortunate that it’s so costly that the HRC can afford only one of them for small children to cover with greasy paws while waiting for a Local Legendary Java Lava Burger. Microsoft should have cut them a deal so that they’d have one at every table. For memo browsing, survey taking, waiter summoning, etc.

Audrey: COMBINE THE GADGETRY.

Josh: Again, with the allowing people to avoid any eye contact. Summon your waiter using their Dick Tracy wristwatches.

Josh: I appreciate that the decor was pretty tasteful for being a rock memorabilia closet.

Audrey: Some of the memo was fun. There’s the requisite guitars, of course.

Josh: There is something very un-rock-and-roll about guitars encased in glass, but, in general a lot of it is fun.

Audrey: Like the crazy letter from Courtney Love to Spin ? In which she rails against Madonna and Alanis Morissette? MORE PLEASE.

Josh: I WANT TO KNOW HOW/WHY THAT LETTER EXISTS.

Audrey: YOU CAN’T HANDLE THAT TRUTH.

Josh: Thankfully the people at Spin knew they had a historical artifact on their hands.

Audrey: And they sent it on to the HRC, along with a letter of authenticity

Josh: The letter of authenticity is key.

Audrey: I also loved Elvis’ winter coat.

Josh: That coat was fantastic.

Audrey: And the working draft of the four-page Dylan poem, which was not unlike Courtney’s letter.

Audrey: I would call the Hard Rock “info-tech-food-tainment.”

Josh: Good call. They were heavy on the infotainment aspects and less so on the food. Maybe they assumed that we all knew about the chain burgers, served with love for all.

Audrey: But surely the burger with the espresso rub was deserving of a shout-out. That is the one local item on the menu! Which was not mentioned at all during the three-pronged tour.

Josh: Clearly the dining part of the experience is the least remarkable.

Audrey: Yes, it is not even secondary, or tertiary, or quartiary.

Josh: Are there people who hunger for a HRC Hickory Smoked Bar-B-Que Chicken & Ribs Combo?

Audrey: That is what I want to be eating when I am trying out all their touchscreens.

Josh: Maybe! But the core audience is there for the tastefully appointed cafe and the memo experience. Which is fine. I assume that their food has to be solid enough that they’ve stayed in business and spread throughout the globe.

Audrey: Especially since the Seminoles took over. There’s been a marked expansion A.S. (After Seminoles)–looks like they’re building a bunch more casinos.

Josh: AHA. That’s how they avoided the fate of Bennigan’s!

Josh: ANYWAY. The club? The theme being: Maybe you like shows, but you also don’t like staying out late, or you can’t get a babysitter.

Audrey: No later than 11ish, at least. So you bring the kids to the matinee shows on the weekends!

Josh: This is not an imaginary market.

Audrey: No, that is strategery on their part for sure.

Josh: I do not object to being done with a rock show on a weeknight by 11 p.m.

Audrey: Nor I.

Josh: I wonder how that will work. Or who will play there.

Audrey: Even the first month-long residency is currently under wraps.

Josh: I was mildly surprised to hear that people were going to pay for tickets to these events. I sort of assumed that there would just be bands playing in the bar on occasion.

Audrey: Surely, some of these events must be free, right?

Josh: Probably? Like the kid-friendly matinees?

Audrey: I’d hope so. Was happy hour on the first floor as well, or just the second floor bar? I would happily be there drinking from 4-6 and then again from 8-10. I do appreciate an early “late-night” happy hour.

Josh: A major highlight. The 8-10 happy hour is a rare beast. The bar has a lot of potential, but there are a lot of details yet unrevealed: booking, sound system, lights, capacity, etc. It is hard to tell how well it will work as a venue until we see it in action. But the roof deck.

Audrey: YES. THE ROOF DECK. The best part of the Hard Rock was the rooftop deck. Why oh why must we wait until April for it to be open? There’s two gas fire pits–that’s enough to keep me warm.

Josh: It’s the warmest winter on record, right? Why not bust it open right now?

Audrey: Seconded.

Josh: Aside from the memo, which–even if you are REALLY into classic ponchos–will eventually get old, the roof deck is the one thing that HRC has that few other Seattle places can offer. I realize that this is a city that has its share of wet weather, but it does also have spectacular summers and great views. I can’t understand why there aren’t more roof decks.

Audrey: Perhaps the Hard Rock will turn this city around!

Josh: During the spring and summer there’s really nothing that I covet more, real estate-wise, than the roof deck. Maybe friends with a boat. The major question about the roof is how can we keep it away from the Bad People.

Audrey: I don’t know if there’s an easy answer to that. People will hear about this glorious rooftop (in part because we are talking about it in a public forum), and then they will want to go to there.

Josh: We just need to make sure that the Right People hear about this new clubhouse.

Audrey: Just get enough drinks to last you from one happy hour to the other, and basically camp out on the deck all night, starting at 4 p.m.

Josh: Get drinks at the downstairs bar and ferry them upstairs.

Audrey: Right, since the rooftop bar doesn’t participate in happy hour. Not everyone will figure out that trick (see: tourists), but I wonder if the second-floor bar will eventually stop serving rooftop dwellers.

Josh: That is a really crazy decision. I can’t imagine that they won’t try to shut down the upstairs/downstairs drinking scheme.

Audrey: They didn’t seem opposed to it today, but I can see them shutting it down when it starts to get ridiculous.

Josh: It’s annoying when resto-bars limit their happy hour pricing to the bar area only. Here we have a bar that plans to limit the bar specials to certain parts of the bar. But maybe as long as enough tourists don’t catch on, the wristwatch brigade won’t make a scene.

Audrey: What is your ultimate take on the Hard Rock?

Josh: I will 100 percent try to convince people to go there for drinks when the sun is out. Whether I’ll keep nominating it as a clubhouse will really depend on the crowd that it attracts. I fear that it could get really wretched, but I’m going to try to stay hopeful.

Audrey: Nobody likes tourists, and the HRC, especially in the summer, is going to be tourist-filled.

Josh: No, but there are worse Belltown elements than tourists.

Audrey: I don’t see the douche element taking over the spot. They’re going to be at Twist or Amber or any of those other places I never go.

Josh: That is good. I guess that all of the family-type tourists will be downstairs at the infobooths. The Spring Break element could wax and wane though.

Audrey: I found the comparisons amongst our tour compatriots to the new Crocodile to be interesting.

Josh: The Crocodile is a good parallel.

Audrey: Yes, that comment is not without merit, though it is surprising to find yourself thinking that.

Josh: They are super cleaned-up, well appointed places that appeal to rock history. Obviously, a matter of degrees.

Audrey: Since one is a corporate behemoth that hasn’t been culturally relevant for, oh, twenty years, and one is our beloved Croc in fancy clothes.

Josh: I’m not going to preemptively write off the HRC’s music programming.

Audrey: Me neither. I’ll be interested to see who they start booking for their residencies, the kid-friendly shows, etc. They seem to want to have both local acts and the occasional higher-profile show, and it seems like they’re going to dabble in all genres and encourage younger musicians (who usually can’t play in 21+ clubs).

Josh: I don’t see how it can hurt. I guess if they started entirely poaching from existing clubs, maybe that would be detrimental, but their early-focused schedule seems to put them in a different space.

Josh: Can’t wait for The SunBreak residency series.

Audrey: OH, IT IS ON.