Friday was St. David’s Day, the first day of March and the first day of spring. Scientists will claim that spring doesn’t start until March 20th; however, these are the same scientists who call NASA security every single time I wander off-tour to get my astronaut certification.
Spring is here, and if you live in these parts it’s a very depressing time of year.
In theory the days get longer, warmer, more flowery, and everything gets better. But listen to what National Weather Service meteorologist Chris Burke told the Seattle Times last year:
Around here, he said, July and August are “summer,” September and October are “fall,” “winter” lasts from November through February and there’s no such thing as spring. He’s dubbed March through June “disappointment.”
Their government controlled weather data even backs up these claims.
So, as the rest of the country slowly shifts from down to cotton, we still have four months of gray and overcast cool days. Now, you could be one of these people who doesn’t mind this type of thing, if so, good for you, grab something to read and we’ll see you at the Gasworks Family Fourth. As for the rest of us, how are going to make it through?
Some thoughts…
Spend time with Seattle weather defenders. They get very angry when any one complains about fifteen straight cloudy and 59 degree May days. They love everything about the weather here, and if possible would knock the sun out of the sky with a powerful scowl. Listen to their rants, buy into their arguments, and not only you will feel better, you may even try and move underground.
Make friends at the frozen custard stand. Our transplanted Midwesterners love two things, telling people that where they are from the winters are an icy hell and the summers are a sweltering shit-show and having a good time. They will get will get you so blotto on cheese curds and weak Midwestern pilsner, that it will be July by the time you remember your middle name
At the same time, stay away from people who recently moved here from California or anywhere else pleasant. They’ve spent the last few months getting lured in by our water, mountains, and jobs. They are not only drinking the 206 Kool-Aid, it’s spontaneously flowing out of their ears. Right about now is when they kicked between the eyes by the donkey that is a stalled Pacific Northwest low pressure system. The look on their face when they realize they have to change into a heavier jacket for a noon Memorial Day BBQ is a force so sad and so powerful that light cannot escape from its pull.
Go to Eastern Washington. We are all just ninety minutes away from, sun, short sleeves, wine tasting, and plenty of people willing to explain, in great detail, how all federal taxes are technically illegal.
Write a thank-you letter to the Seattle Times. Thanks to their new pay wall you won’t be able to read their annual articles about how cold June has been. 2008, 2010, 2012…. Hold on, every other year…could 2013 mean warm air in our future?!?! Oh, St. David, we ask that’s it’s so.