Tag Archives: humor

Sarah Palin’s Sinister, Coded Email Reveals World Domination Plot

Emails from the Sarah Palin administration were released recently. After reading all 24,000 emails, The SunBreak has discovered this chilling missive between then-Governor Palin and Erika Fagerstrom, the so-called “Resident Executive Manager” of the Governor’s mansion. Coded words explained below.

Sarah Palin

From: Governor Sarah Palin [govpalin@gov.state.ak.us]
Sent: Friday. April 06, 2007 8:52 AM
To: Fagerstrom; Erlka (GOV)
Subject: RE: Prayer Breakfast Photos Easter

No one’s* expected to attend – I think l’ll just pass the word** around about it.

Easter***: I think all I need is for dye – does Stef**** have food coloring? I’m sure we have vine l’Il just
mixed food coloring with vinegar if we have those two ingredients so I can dye eggs with the girls*****. Can we get more eggs also?

let Stef know that Todd****** is coming in tomorrow. And that we may invite a few “homeless” staffers over
for Easter meal. feel sorry for some of these single staffers who have no famlly******* down herel I want to
Invlte them to come have lunch******** or something that dey so they have a least a bit of a fun thing to do – but certainly don’t want to burden house staff********* with this idea.

Stef could just perhaps add a few extra ingredients in anything to make a blgger meal – plus we have the leftover stew********* from last night- it can bevery simple with no need for staff to do anything extra this would just be a casual gathering of a few folks********** who would appreciate any home cooked meal durlng this busy time in the session***********.

Hope Stef wouldn’t feel burdened at this last-minute idea (and I can certainly “pull together something myself”************ for Sunday if this is too muchl It seems there are ingredients and foodstuffs all over ln the

You’re awesome Erika.

Thanksl*************

NOTES:

*”No one” — Prince Al-Waleed bin Talal, nephew of King Abdullah

**”the word” — A top-secret briefing transmitted by satellite daily to 48 of the world’s top banking executives, Palin, and Ted Nugent.

***”Easter” — Cultish holiday celebrating resurrection a.k.a. zombies.

****”Stef” — Should be rendered “S.T.E.F.,” (Standard Temporal Energy Field) a sentient orb of anti-matter that serves as Palin’s secretary and can be activated to cause time to run backwards. Also can store up to 4 GB of music files.

*****”dye eggs with the girls” — Pass locations of Soviet nuclear devices to Pakistani ISI agents.

******”Todd” — Known to the world as Palin’s husband, actually a pod of shape-shifting symbiotic organisms sent from an alternate universe to monitor Earth’s conversion to a mining colony.

*******”single staffers who have no family” — Literally true, as Palin requires all staffers to terminate their families.

********”lunch” — meth

*********”house staff” — Little people sent back in time to train as ninja assassins under the Tokogawa shogunate.

**********”stew” — meth

***********”casual gathering of a few folks” — Meeting of the Executive Triumverate of Pangaea, the highest level of the secret world government .

************”the session” — In the universal time/space clock, a “session” is 18 roundtrips at light speed from Andromeda to Bode’s Galaxy.

*************”pull something together myself” — Release the secret aural signal indicating that koalas (actually trans-galactic demolition experts) should activate and sink Australia.

**************”Thanksl” — The “l” at the end of “thanks” indicates that the message should be cced to Palin’s closest advisors, the former cast of Almost Live.