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Business, News, Sports

The Letter the Mariners Should Send to Fans Today

Bored Mariners Fan
Current Excitement Level of Average Mariners Fan

It’s been 77 days since the Seattle Mariners finished in last place for the third year in a row, and they haven’t done a single thing to make anyone think they won’t be crashing in the basement again in 2013.

For once, money isn’t the obstacle. With Ichiro off the books, the Mariners have the cash to improve their roster. Problem is, no one will take it. This is no surprise — of the 46 contracts in baseball history worth more than $90 million, only four have been signed with teams that finished in last place the year before. To put it plainly: Good players do not want to play for bad teams.

And team management — wisely, in my view — has resolved not to overpay in an attempt to lure star players to Losertown, nor to gut the farm system in a desperate “win-now” trade.

So the Mariners are stuck in a Catch-22. They can’t attract an elite player at a reasonable price until they’re out of last place, but they can’t climb out of last place — not right away — without an elite player.

It’s a predictable but disastrous situation for an organization that has been a non-star both on and off the field. In 2012 the Mariners were even worse at public relations than they were at baseball. The team’s tin-eared opposition to a new Sonics arena was augmented by a colossal concessions foul-up during the best-attended game of the season, and, after another year of last-place baseball, unannounced price increases that pissed off their remaining season ticket holders.

The Mariners need to create some goodwill and excitement, which is why I propose that they release this letter:

Dear Mariners Fans,

Despite our best efforts, we weren’t able to significantly upgrade our roster for the 2013 season. Potential trading partners asked for a return that would’ve crippled our ability to compete in future years, and free agent hitters asked for long-term contracts that would’ve done likewise.

Of course we aren’t throwing in the towel on the 2013 season –but we do expect it to be another developmental year for our young core of players.

On the bright side, we are left with a significantly lower payroll than we expected. And, in return for the patience you have shown over the past few years, we would like to return that savings to you.

Effective immediately, we are cutting prices 30%.

That’s everything from box seats to signed baseballs to beer. This offer extends to our season ticket holders as well — each of you will pay 30% less than you did last year.

We expect to contend soon, but while we work toward that goal, we want to encourage you fans to fill Safeco Field and support our young players.

We could’ve spent this money on a free agent, but looking at the available market we felt that investing in bigger crowds and more support would be a wiser play. We’re convinced that loud, passionate crowds will help our young, hungry team develop better than an aging, financially-secure hitter would have.

We think that the talent we have in our minor league system will bring a World Series championship to Seattle in the next five years. We want you to be a part of our rise. Please come out to Safeco this summer and help motivate our young players to new heights. You’ll be glad you did.

Drastic? Unprecedented? Likely to cause fistfights in the corporate suite? Yes. But when your customer base has experienced the worst 10-year decline in your industry, drastic action is what’s needed. One thing I can say for sure — and I speak from personal experience, as I’ve yet to renew my season tickets this year — without something for fans to get excited about, attendance will decline yet again. As Yogi Berra said: “If people don’t want to come out to the ballpark, nobody’s gonna stop ’em.”

News, Sports

Could Soccer Be the Sport Seattle Finally “Beats L.A.” In?

How long must Seattle sports fans suffer at the hands, bats, shoulder pads, and now feet, of teams from Los Angeles? The Sounders are the latest local franchise to absorb annual Angelino assaults, having won just once in eight MLS matches against the L.A. Galaxy. They get another shot at the Galaxy tonight, at 7 p.m., at CenturyLink Field..

Culturally and aesthetically, we Seattleites have no desire to best Los Angeles. On our weekends we choose hiking over Hollywood, on our bodies we choose Burt’s Bees over botox. In sports, it’s different. A generation of Seattle sports fans has desperately desired to, and frequently chanted, “Beat L.A.” But our hopes, like a North Face sleeveless fleece vest on Rodeo Drive, seem misplaced.

Something about the words “Los Angeles” strikes #FAIL into the hearts of Seattle sports franchises: The dreadful ’70s and ’80s Mariners played the franchise then known as the California Angels as well as they played any other team, and went 66-60 against the Anaheim Angels. Then, in 2005, that franchise added “Los Angeles” to their name, and the Mariners have gone 49-83 against them since.

The Seahawks lost eight straight against the Los Angeles Raiders in the early ‘90s. The Los Angeles Lakers, behind Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Magic Johnson, swept the Sonics four to zip in the 1987 NBA playoffs, and again in 1989.

Those late ‘80s Lakers/Sonics matchups may be the best comparison to the Sounders/Galaxy rivalry. Like those Lakers teams, the Galaxy are studded with stars. The supreme stud: David Beckham, one of the best-known people on Earth. The Galaxy also have Landon Donovan and Robbie Keane, who’ve both captained their respective national teams and are well-known to soccer fans worldwide.

The Sounders are a good team. But who the hell are they? Outside of Seattle, the names Fredy Montero, Mauro Rosales, and Brad Evans are known only to hard-core fans–much like the late ’80s Sonics Xavier McDaniel, Tom Chambers, and Dale Ellis.

(While we may argue whether Abdul-Jabbar or the X-Man had the better movie cameo, their relative on-court merits are indisputable.)

You may already be asking yourself: Why do Seattle teams get perennially mauled by those from Los Angeles. You obviously weren’t paying attention to the Black Bloc’s message yesterday. The answer is: Money.

Los Angeles has a larger local television market, so their teams get more lucrative local television contracts, which means more money, which means better players. According to ESPN’s recent (and awesome) survey of world professional sports team salaries, the average player on a Los Angeles professional team is making $3.8 million. The average player on a Seattle professional team is making $1.8 million. (Here, check my work!) Who do you think gets the better players?

It is no accident that the one Seattle team that has the best record against their L.A. counterparts–the Seahawks (11-13 against the L.A. Raiders)–are in the NFL, the one professional league where television contracts are negotiated only on a national level, with the revenue shared among the teams.

Until the other leagues decide to start sharing local television revenue (which, frankly, will never happen), Seattle teams will always be at a disadvantage. The inequity of television revenue may even keep us from getting another NBA team–the Maloof brothers, who own the Sacramento Kings, are considering moving to Anaheim, where they can command a piece of L.A.’s sports market. Even though Los Angeles already has two NBA teams, owning DVR-proof programming in such a large and influential market is more valuable than being the only show in town in Seattle.

Twice the money doesn’t always get you twice the player. But it helps. If you watch the Galaxy/Sounders match tonight (7 p.m., KONG TV), you’ll be watching a team with a $17-million payroll against a team with a $5-million payroll.

On the bright side, a large part of that payroll isn’t with the team today. Beckham, Keane, and starting goalkeeper Josh Saunders reportedly didn’t travel to Seattle. For once, a Seattle/L.A. will be a fair match.

News, Sports

Mariner Fans Feeling Spurned by Their Exes

Yuniesky Betancourt - Still Not Good

Much gnashing of teeth has occurred in the Mariner fan community over the number of former M’s on teams in baseball’s playoffs–16 of them, more exes than any other major league team.

“Hey,” the thinking goes, “if we’d just held on to all those guys, we’d be in the playoffs, too!” This thinking is wrong.

Most of the ex-Mariners in the playoffs are below-average players. Sure, Yuniesky Betancourt is a playoff-caliber shortstop–if he’s got Prince Fielder and Rickie Weeks to his left. With Jose Lopez and Richie Sexson? Not so much.

In fact, a good chunk of these post-seasoning ex-Mariners were on the same team–six of them* were on the 2008 Mariners, who lost 101 games and finished 39 games out of first place.

Some of the best Mariner teams had their share of below-average players. The ’95 Mariners gave former Brewer Alex Diaz and former Ranger Doug Strange their only tastes of post-season play. Perhaps the same Milwaukee and Texas fans who are enjoying their team’s post-season runs were gnashing similarly back then.

Fact is, you can pile up all the role players you want–there’s no substitute for talent, something the Mariners sorely lack, especially among position players. Stat time! The statistic “Adjusted OPS,” written as “OPS+,” standardizes a player’s hitting stats according to the park and league he played in. The average hitter is 100.

Among 2011 Mariner regulars, only 2B Dustin Ackley and 1B Justin Smoak were above average (remember, this is adjusted for park factors, so no using Safeco Field’s expansive outfield as an excuse). And Smoak’s 104 OPS+ is really an underwhelming figure when you consider that, as a first baseman, he is expected to be a better-than-average hitter.

Yuniesky Betancourt’s 2011 OPS+? A dismal 75. Even the 2012 Mariners’ shortstop, Brendan Ryan, posted a better number. So, on the bright side, the Mariners do have players worthy of post-season play–if (big if) they can scare up some decent teammates for them.

Once the post-season ends, the free agent and trading season begins–and we’ll all see what Mariner brass does to bring good baseball back to Seattle.

*Adrian Beltre, Raul Ibanez, Arthur Rhodes, J.J. Putz, Willie Bloomquist, Yuniesky Betancourt

News, Sports

Five Reasons Why Mariners Games Will Suck Less This Year

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You’ve been going to fewer Mariner games the last several years, haven’t you? No, I’m not psychic, I just extrapolated from the Mariners’ total home attendance numbers. To wit:

Mariners Attendance 2002-2010

Like any business that puts out an increasingly inferior product, the Mariners have seen their customer base drop along with their win total. Who wants to go see a losing team? Much less a boring one: Even us serious baseball fans like a home run now and again, and the Mariners failed to homer in 52 of their 81 home games last year.

But behold! I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people! That is, five ways in which 2011 Mariner games will be better than 2010 Mariner games.

1) The Offense Is Better
The Mariners did not spend wildly on a big-name free agent this offseason. Instead, they made a few small moves to upgrade their offense at catcher, designated hitter, and shortstop. And last year’s big ticket free agent, Chone Figgins, is bound by the laws of regression toward the mean to improve on his dismal 2010 performance.

2) One of the Most Exciting Rookies in Baseball
Just reading the numbers about Michael Pineda is fun. He’s 6-foot-5, 255 lbs. He can throw a baseball 98 mph. He’s only 22 years old. So I’m really looking forward to seeing this mountain of a young adult unleash his prodigious talent on the American League this season. Pineda was supposed to start the season in the minors, but after striking out 15 batters in 17 spring innings, he won the 5th starter job. Next Tuesday night Pineda makes his major league debut against the AL champion Rangers, and it will be one of the most-watched games by the national baseball cognoscenti.

3) A Fun New In-Joke/Meme!
If you haven’t seen the new Mariners commercial with Felix Hernandez, go watch it. It’s for real funny. I’ll wait.

Okay. Ha! Right? “Larry Bernandez.” And it’s already becoming a meme. There’s a Larry Bernandez Twitter feed, calls for a Larry Bernandez bobblehead, and I’m working on a T-shirt. (Really!) Rally fries has gotten old, and “Two Outs. So What?” is a distant memory. We needed something fun like “Fear the Beard” for Giants fans last year.

4) Balls Hit to Centerfield Will Be…Interesting
Gold Glove winning centerfielder Franklin Gutierrez will start the season on the disabled list with…well, nobody knows. Gutierrez has suffered from stomach pain since last summer, and M’s doctors still don’t know why. (Though they have presumably ruled out pregnancy.) This means that Michael Saunders and Ryan Langerhans, who are about as likely to mount a successful Gold Glove candidacy as Larry Craig is to mount a successful Republican one, will share the centerfield duties. The Mariners have been blessed with fantastic centerfield play over the past two decades, from Ken Griffey Jr. to Mike Cameron to Randy Winn to Ichiro to Gutierrez. Until Gutierrez is healthy, all balls hit to centerfield will be a little adventure, like letting a ten-year-old drive.

5) Ichiro Marches On
Okay, okay, this isn’t new, but Ichiro still is one of the few baseball players on the planet who you stop to watch hit every time. When I’m at M’s games, I plan my bathroom trips around his at bats (sometimes with hilarious consequences!). Seriously, he truly is one of the most remarkable players in baseball history. As unlucky as we are to have endured nine post-season-less years, at least we have him.

So, there you go. I’d tell you to jump on the bandwagon, but I don’t think there really is one yet. More of a Radio Flyer. The M’s begin their 2011 season Friday night in Oakland. Opening Day at Safeco is a week from Friday (the 8th), and there are 83 home games after that. Good seats still available!