I am still not in love with AMC’s new mystery series, The Killing. But I am still watching it, and let’s face it, I probably will continue to–really now, what else is there to do on Sunday nights? For yesterday’s episode, “El Diablo,” I turned the captions on, which helped to overcome the muddled sound mixing and overall mush-mouthedness of the actors. Pro-tip!

Besides that, “El Diablo” (streaming here) was a slight improvement over the two-hour premiere in that there were fewer Space Needle shots, and it wasn’t so over-the-top and stilted in exposition. No surprise: Detective Sarah Linden still hasn’t made the move off the case and to Sonoma with her husband-to-be. I’m betting that Rosie Larsen’s killer is mayoral campaign staffer/paramour Gwen, for no good reason than just because it would be “unexpected.” But let’s get away from the suspense and drama of the series and onto the bigger issue at hand: The Killing‘s alternate universe version of Seattle and why I would like to live in that city.

Just take a look at the above screencap of the Seattle Daily Reader, which features frontpage below-the-fold headlines “Lake Union, Site of Music Festival” and (much more newsworthy) “SEA OTTER SPOTTED EATING IN LOCAL CAFE.” Please, oh please, I want to go to there. Imagine a Seattle that has more than one daily paper, in which Wallingford NIMBYs would allow a festival to take place on their precious lakefront, in which you can go out for lunch with a sea otter. I want to live in a world where janitors are proudly named after Lyndon Johnson and children can have breakfast for dinner (maybe with an otter named Lyndon Johnson).

But more importantly: Backroom deals for political endorsements in exchange for a plumbing contract? The current mayor is close to cutting the ribbon on a major waterfront development project? Sounds like this is a Seattle that gets things done! How many teenage girls would we need to kill to get some movement on the viaduct? Because I’m willing to do whatever it takes. Let’s kill Sterling just to be safe.

But one thing about last night’s episode wasn’t a fantasy: NarcScent, the fake marijuana that Holder uses to trick children into thinking he’s not a cop, but just a cool pot-smoking rat-faced dude, is a real fake marijuana product that real law enforcement types use to trick real people–the more you know. Thanks, The Killing!