Here we are again, on the verge of the annual marathon known as the Seattle International Film Festival. (Keep track of The SunBreak’s ongoing festival coverage on our SIFF 2013 page.) SIFF 2013 officially kicks off this Thursday night with near-instantly sold-out Much Ado About Nathan Nothing, and by the time all all is said and done with The Bling Ring on closing night, the 39th annual SIFF will have run a full 25 days, and that’s not even counting the three weeks of media/uber-passholder screenings in advance of the fest. So get ready and don’t show up to the festival looking like a n00b. SIFF like a pro, courtesy of our time- and fest-tested tips:

PLANNING

• Plan ahead. Get to know the new SIFF website well (pay close attention, as options have changed with the facelift). Check ahead to see if guests will be at the screening for a Q&A, for timing and scheduling purposes, if not for celeb-watching, and monitor the various SIFF feeds regularly for updates, so you’ll have the heads up before a screening sells out.
• In case you haven’t heard from the internets, tickets to this Thursday’s opening night film, the beloved Buffy creator’s take on Much Ado About Nothing are long gone, as are those for the “mystery” Whedon-related screening the day after, which overwhelmed the redesigned SIFF site upon last Saturday morning’s on-sale. Twitter was full of tales of an hourlong wait before verification of purchase and charges going through…and that was the happy news from those lucky enough to garner tickets. (If a film org cannot handle the onslaught of the Whedonverse AFTER FIRST ACTIVELY COURTING the Whedonverse, do they deserve them in the first place? I digress.)
• The festival is stuffed with panels, parties, and events; given the speed at which Opening Night sold out, you might want to book early for these special engagements.
• In terms of choosing what to see among the 447 non-secret films (197 features, 67 documentary features), the festival’s official programs and have once again grouped movies into “moods” by the programmers. There are various imperatives: “thrill me,” “provoke me,” “show me the world,” “make me laugh,” “open my eyes,” “face the music”; elliptical “Love…”; inclusive “Sci-fi and fact” (though heavily fact over fiction this year); and “Creative Streak” (which could be any of the above).
• Technology is your friend! SIFF is never as tech-integrated as one would like — R.I.P. iSIFF app — but you can still make use of the SIFFter, My SIFF, and the ability to email your personal festival schedule to friends. Getting it onto social media or your own Google calendar, however, remains a pipe dream.
• While your schedule and your online presence might not be b.f.f.s, SIFF itself is riding indiscriminately on various social media bandwagons. Keep up with festival news on Facebook & Twitter; views on YouTube and Instagram. Turn your schedule into a manic pixie dreambook with Pinterest. If you’re stumped for what to watch, visit the festival’s “SIFFcurious” tumblr for film recommendations from semi-famous locals.
• Free printed guides should be turning up at your neighborhood Starbucks; if you can’t find it in paper, there’s an online version available. Buried in the flashy new website is an old-fashioned online calendar.
• Once the festival starts, you can get a commemorative catalog. The glossy pictures and longer descriptions make almost every film look more compelling, and the giant book makes a nice souvenir/scorecard.

BUYING

• Consider buying in bulk. Ticket packages cut down on service fees and are cheaper than individual tickets.
• Flying by the seat of your pants and getting into a film via the standby line is a complete crapshoot — don’t count on it for a popular film. But if a miracle does occur, those tickets are full price and “cash preferred.”
• However, it doesn’t hurt to try your luck with whatever happens to be playing on whatever night you happen to be free. Not every screening has an interminable line, sometimes those scary-looking line is just hard-core SIFFers with time on their hands and/or an ingrained sense of promptness, and many times you may walk right in to a half-empty theater. It’s the chance to experience seeing something you enjoy on some level, if only just a window to a different world/experience than what you’re used to. GIVE IN to the festival.
• Head to a SIFF box office to get your tickets in advance and avoid an extra line at the venue for will call. If you must pick up tickets at will call, try to drop in between screenings and have them print all of your pre-ordered tickets at once.

ATTENDING

• If you’re particular about where you sit, there’s no such thing as arriving too early. Expect every screening to have a long line and a full house. Still, as long as you have a ticket, you’ll have a seat. If you’re a passholder, you can usually show up about 20-30 minutes in advance of the screening and still get a good seat. Ticketholders, try 30 min. All bets are off in the case of movies with big buzz. In that case, take whatever seat you can get, but just sit down already. There’s not going to be some magical super-seat in the theater if you scour the entire venue.
• Be prepared with umbrella and light jacket. Bringing some snacks is acceptable, but don’t be That Guy who sneaks in a four-course meal.
• Find your path of least resistance. For example, at the Egyptian, nearly everyone enters the theater and goes to the left. So break away from the herd and go to the right.
• Bathrooms! (Ladies, I’m mostly speaking to you, unless you’re a dude at a dude-heavy midnight screening.) It’s a good rule of thumb that the further away the bathroom is, the shorter the line. So the third floor bathrooms at the Harvard Exit are much more likely to be free compared to those on the second floor. Another way to avoid the line is to either head straight to the restroom as soon as you get into the theater, or wait until the lights go down and the SIFF ads start. You’ve still got about 7 minutes of ads, trailers, and announcements before the film begins.
• Consider subtitles. If your film has them and you’re not fluent, find a seat with a clear view of the bottom of the screen. Aisle left or right is generally a good bet. The seats on the center aisle (exit row) at the Egyptian have tons of room to stretch your legs, but the raking of the theater flattens out for the aisle, so you’re likely to have an obstructed view of the subtitles if anyone of average height or above average skull circumference sits in front of you.
• If you’re a passholder, the queue cards are back to give you a place in the passholder line. SIFF staff start handing them out about 30 minutes before showtime to figure out (and limit) how many passholders they’re letting in to the venues. Passholders who show up after the supply of queue cards have been exhausted will join the huddled masses in the standby line.

EXTRACURRICULAR

• If you’re on foot, trying to see multiple films in a row, and want a little brisk exercise between screenings, the sweet spot is the Egyptian. It’s a walkable distance from the Harvard Exit, as well as Pacific Place. The Egyptian is also right next to a Walgreen’s, if you need water, snacks, or eye drops after 12 hours of movie viewing.
• Alternately, with SIFF’s resurrection of the Uptown theater and opening of their Film Center on the Seattle Center grounds, Lower Queen Anne is basically a film buffet. Festgoers who usually stick around the Downtown/Capitol Hill area theaters (Pacific Place, the Egyptian, the Harvard Exit) will want to plan some extra travel time accordingly: the roster of SIFF entries playing the Uptown is just too diverse and strong to ignore. However, heading to Queen Anne leaves you reliant on Seattle’s not always timely bus service. Might we suggest the monorail? OR GONDOLAS?
• Get your latte before you head to the Egyptian. The espresso stand is gone, though they do serve drip coffee!
• Speaking of theater eats and drinks, Bloombergites will be happy to know that most of the theaters have semi-secret human scale snack options on the menu (though the only way to get an actually small soda is often when paired with an actually small popcorn). At Pacific Place, it’s the “light snacker,” it exists at the Landmark chain under a name unknown, and at SIFF, it’s blissfully and accurately called a small.
• In contrast to last year’s hyperkinetic intro video, the World Famous and WDCW crew have lovingly crafted a more meditative tribute to film magic to ease you into the 2013 festival. Expect to have this stop-motion montage seared into your brain after a few screenings. If you can’t identify every referenced film (surprisingly, all played at SIFF at some point) the first time through, you’d better be able to name them all by the end of the festival: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFLQ8oCNu0s
• Because you don’t have tickets to opening night: