World's Worst: Presents

The worst Christmas/holiday gift I've ever heard of was the time a friend of mine gave his girlfriend $187 in cash with which to buy a parking pass.

"But she really needed that parking pass!" he told me later, having received remonstrations from her, her family, his own mother, and me.

Happy ending though--the couple in question is married with an adorable baby girl. The relationship survived a gift of cash (unlike Jerry and Elaine's).

I gifted my own dud last year. I bought books for my two pre-teen nieces. Books, it turned out, they had already read. In lieu of demanding an all-time reading list, I went the safe route this year and bought them gift certificates to the venerable Secret Garden Bookshop, where I bought books as a kid. (Back then, it was in Greenlake, where BluWater Bistro is now. This is just a preview of the exciting new SunBreak series, "Seth's 'Where Things Used to Be!'")

The worst gift I ever got, wasn't actually that bad, I was just a snotty kid and turned it into a big deal. My mom saved up for a trip to England, it was her first trip out of the country--I believe she was in her late 30s at the time. Anyway, she bought my sister and me gifts, and mine was a replica of a chess piece in some famous prehistoric set at the British Museum.

"Mom. A chess piece? What am I going to do with one chess piece?" God I was a brat. I still have the thing, it's actually pretty cool, and has far outlived many presents I was bowled over by at the time--like the Radio Shack remote control car I got on Xmas Day and played with maybe twice after New Year's.

Hoping none of my presents this year make anyone's all-time worst lists. We'll see...